We have lost our way. In an era of “It’s all about me”, we have forgotten about leaving a legacy for our children. Where else can you find a five year old boy with bad credit because he has several utility bills in his name, and his mother thinks she’s outsmarting everyone because she keeps moving without having to pay any bills? Where can you find a female that was doing very well in school, but put on Ritalin because her mother found out she could get an ADD check each month? What about the father who flashes big money in the club every week, only to have the neighbors feed his starving kids? (14 million kids are starving in the USA). Don’t forget the people that make so much money and are so busy, they NEVER have any time to spend with their kids. I can almost promise that those children would much rather have an hour or two of time instead of a new luxury car every year. They would be ecstatic if their parent made one school event, one football game, one volleyball game, or one soccer game.

Ladies, why teach your girls all about “sugar daddies”, instead of letting her hit the books and get a scholarship to college? I promise you she’s smart enough. Sit down with her and let her show you how smart she truly is. How many “uncles” can she have in a life time? Fellas, how many “aunties” houses can you take your son to, and remind him not to tell mom when you both get home? You are teaching him how to treat women. He will tell sooner or later. How many girls and boys will continue to be molested by family members and have it all swept under the rug like it never happened?

What happened to teaching your children right from wrong? What happened to expecting them to excel in school?

We have failed our children miserably. We are so caught up in our own agendas, and they are slowly falling away, wandering through life aimlessly. We must get back to the basics, and make sure our kids get the education they will so desperately need in the future.

This was not written to criticize or demean. It is meant to be a wake- up call. I realize that change will not happen overnight. But, we have to start somewhere.

Our society has become so caught up in the spotlight, that we are leaving our kids behind in the dark ~



  1. Great post, Pam. We could talk about this all day and we won’t come up with an answer. To me it’s like this, the parents of today are the way they are because of how they were raised. It goes from generation to generation. If you’re not taught the right values when you were growing up, most likely you won’t be able to teach them to your kids because you never learned. A lot of black people (and yes I’m saying black), put more pride and concentration on material things, what they wear and how they look than education, morals and looking toward the future. It has always been bad in the black community but it’s gotten worse and I blame most of it on the hip hop culture. Why? Because today’s parents that are in their 20’s and 30’s (who were kids in the 80’s and 90’s) live by that same culture and grew up in it and that is why things are so messed up today.

    Children started looking to rappers and demeaning music to seek guidance. Most young black boys would rather be a rapper than a doctor or a lawyer. I’m not putting rappers down, but why is that always the answer when you ask a young black male what they wanna be? They love the thug lifestyle! I lost hope when more and more kids thought it was cooler to go to prison than college. Now how can you help someone with that kind of thinking? You can’t even get on that type of level to even talk to them. Kids started raising themselves by looking at the wrong types of adults as role models. Meanwhile parents became more detached.

    People need to get themselves together, period. It’s the fault of men and women because now the women have started bringing children in this world without any kind of plan of how to raise them, an education, foundation, nothing. It makes you mad and sad but there is nothing an individual can do but raise their own and look after their child the best they can. It’s not society’s fault and that’s an old excuse that gets older everyday.

    What’s the solution? Heck if I know. But it starts with education, birth control, morals, values, employment, the list goes on. At least starting with these things will give kids a fighting chance.

    (Sorry for the long response, LOL!) I had a lot to say as usual.

    Best Wishes!

  2. Drake

    First of all, let me say that it’s good to see you back in blogging action. You’ve been missed. This a a great topic of discussion.

    Immaturity breeds immaturity. Those of certain environments seem to breed the same. This is not stereotyping, it’s more or less a cycle that needs to be broken. Some have been successful in breaking the cycle yet there are so many who fall victim to the situations you have described in your blog.

    Young underdeveloped minds who have children are creating and teaching their young ones the same habits. If the parents are not educated or do not look as education as a way out, they will not teach their children this fact. They will teach their children how “they do it.”

    I discover over and over again that this is going to be one of the hardest cycles to break. We seem to make progress, but there seems to be so many left behind.

  3. excellent post pam! i will come back and give my two cents a little later, but i will say that this has not always been our legacy. in the the past, our people knew how important education and hard work were to our success. the 80’s brought more than hip hop, drugs were ushered into our communities via the U.S. government. drugs and not hip hop played a major role in the downward spiral of our community. hip hop during its early stages had a lot of positive messages. another contributing factor to the misdirection of the youth and our community, in general, is the overindulgence that parents are guilty of with their children. kids are being taught that they don’t have to work for anything, that it will just be given to them. that’s why kids feel that it is nothing to harm or even murder a parent or grandparent when they don’t indulge them in their every whim. okay, getting off soapbox for now. lol

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